TV This is probably old news to most of you, especially for those of you who've been following the show regularly. But, then there's people like me, who only happen to passively watch Charlie Sheen's old quasi-autobiographic TV sitcom Two and a Half Men, when there's really NOTHING else on. Thus, starting to wonder whatever happened to the womanising old bag-a-douche.

Out of sheer curiosity, I spent a good part of the night watching videos and whatnot, and this is what I managed to scrape off the bottom of YouTube, Google and the likes...

Apparently there's been a lot of friction between Charlie and the team of co-stars, as well as the creator behind the show; Chuck Lorre. After eight seasons they finally decided they've had enough of his arsery. So, about a year ago, Sheen got canned from his own show and was replaced by Ashton Kutcher, perhaps most recognised for being Demi Moore's wife.

As I missed the premiere episode of the ninth season, I had no idea of...
A) what ever happened to Charlie Sheens's character Charlie Harper, and
B) who this Kutcher hippie is - and even more so; what the heck he's doing in Mr. Sheen's beach house!?

Well, here's the answer to the first question:
Charlie Sheen's last scene in Two and a Half Men...?

The great Charlie Sheen smearing campaign begins...

What actually happened was that he got thrown on the rails and got squished by a freight train. Most of the first episode of season nine is then spent humiliating Charlie Sheen as much as possible, now that he's absent. Bold move!

For starters, here's the initial scene in the church on Charlie Harper's funeral:

Charlie's own mother seems mostly interested in selling Charlie's house, while his old stable of well-figured bedfellows imply he had at least half a dozen venereal diseases and are only attending the funeral for last a chance to spit on his corpse. Tad

Sheen's old team of co-workers take out their vendetta even further, however. Already in the next scene they have his character's clumsy brother Alan stumbling with Charlie's urn of ash:

Out flies a grey cloud, leaving a mess of Charlie's remains on the living room floor, followed by an overly done, MASSIVE canned laughter. Then enters the house maid Berta, to settle the score with the heart-stabbing punchline; "I ain't cleaning him up!". Hilaaarious, is it? Might as well just have someone "accidentally" take a piss in the urn - that would've been just about as tasteful and honourable.

Kathy Bates - the Waterboy's momma
as well as the new Charlie Harper.

The Afterlife

In some later episode they also have Charlie Harper returning in his afterlife. Rather than hiring Sheen for a last run, they made the choice of having his character played by the same old woman who starred as Adam Sandler's overly protective mother in Waterboy. Another apparent attempt at making fun of Sheen. Futile, however, as he Sheen himself stated that he felt honoured to have her playing his former role. At least that's what he said, apparently...

Charlie Sheen Strikes Anger

The actual death scene that was merely implied in Two and a Half Men, can actually be seen as a trailer for Sheen's all new TV comedy series "Anger Management". They altered the outcome of the train collision slightly, however...

Apparently Anger Management will be loosely based on the 2003 comedy by the same name, starred by Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson. Wonder how many times we'll get to hear Sheen burst out with a "GOOSFRABBA!" in this new series.

Charlie Sheen's Ustream arsery

Charlie Sheen arseing about
on Ustream.
Regardless of which, his recent "rant channel" on Ustream will surely help getting the ball rolling again for this new series. Even though all he does is sitting in a tight space, smoking cigarettes, barfing out obscenities and dismissing his fans.

Call it a shameless publicity stunt, or simply a shameless cry for help...
 - ALL publicity's good publicity, as we all know...

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